By KidsDirect Editorial Team
Crying in Babies
Crying is your baby’s first language. It’s also the sound most likely to send a tired parent into a spiral. You check the diaper, you feed, you rock, and the crying keeps going. Take a breath. Most of the time nothing is wrong with your baby, and nothing is wrong with you either. This page covers what’s normal, what usually helps, when to call the doctor, and how to look after yourself on the hard nights. This is why babies cry.
How Much Crying Is Normal
More than you’d guess. Many babies cry about two to three hours a day in the first six weeks, according to KidsHealth, and some cry even longer. The pattern has a shape. Crying usually starts to climb around two weeks, peaks near the two month mark, and settles down by three or four months.
Researchers call this the Period of PURPLE Crying. The letters describe what it feels like. Crying peaks, comes on unexpectedly, resists soothing, comes with a pain-like face even when your baby isn’t hurting, lasts a long time, and tends to happen in the evening. If that sounds like your house, you’re in the middle of a very normal stretch. This is why babies cry.
Why Babies Cry
Babies cry to say something is off, but they can’t tell you what. The usual reasons are hunger, a wet or dirty diaper, tiredness, gas, being too hot or too cold, or just wanting to be held. Overstimulation is a big one too. After a day of lights, voices, and passing hands, some babies melt down by evening, the same way you might after a loud party.
Sometimes there’s no reason at all. That’s the part that stings, because we want to fix things. A baby who has been fed, changed, and cuddled can still cry, and that doesn’t mean you missed something.
A Quick Checklist Before You Panic
Run through the basics first. Is your baby hungry? Newborns feed often, and our guide on whether your baby is getting enough milk can help if you’re unsure. Check the diaper, since our page on changing diapers covers rashes that sting. Feel the back of the neck to see whether your baby is too warm or too cool, and look at our tips on keeping your baby warm if you aren’t sure. Look for a hair wrapped around a finger or toe, a scratchy tag, or a bent leg.
What Usually Helps
Think about what your baby had for nine months. It was dark, snug, noisy, and always moving. Many soothing tricks copy that. Holding your baby close and rocking or swaying often works, and so does a walk around the house or in a carrier. A steady shushing sound or white noise can help, and so can a warm bath, a gentle back rub, or a pacifier.
Dimming the lights and cutting down on noise helps an overstimulated baby settle. Swaddling can calm young babies, but stop as soon as your baby shows signs of rolling, and always place your baby on the back to sleep. Our page on holding your baby safely has more on handling a fussy newborn, and our guide to SIDS and safe sleep explains why the back position matters.
Try one thing at a time for a few minutes. Switching every ten seconds can wind your baby up more. If one method doesn’t work, it doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong. Babies change day to day, so what worked on Monday may flop on Tuesday. This is why babies cry.
When It’s More Than Normal Crying
If your baby cries for more than three hours a day, on three or more days a week, for at least three weeks, and is otherwise healthy, that pattern is often called colic. It usually starts around two to five weeks and fades by three or four months. We wrote a full field guide to colic with ideas for those long evenings.
Other causes can hide behind crying too. An ear infection can make a baby pull at an ear and cry harder when lying down, so see our page on earaches. Reflux, a cold, gas, and food reactions are other possibilities, and your pediatrician can help sort them out.
When to Call the Doctor
Call right away if your baby is under three months old and has a rectal temperature of 100.4°F (38°C) or higher. Call too if the crying sounds different from usual, like a weak, high pitched, or nonstop scream. Other reasons to call include a baby who is limp, very sleepy, or hard to wake, who refuses to feed, who vomits green fluid, or who has blood in the stool. A swollen belly, trouble breathing, or fewer wet diapers than normal also deserve a call.
Trust your gut. If something feels wrong, even without a clear sign, call your pediatrician. Nobody will think you’re being dramatic.
Taking Care of Yourself
Long crying spells wear down even the most patient parent. If you reach your limit, put your baby on the back in a safe, empty crib, close the door, and step away for ten minutes. A crying baby in a crib is safe. A parent who is about to lose control isn’t a safe place for a baby to be. Splash water on your face, breathe, or call someone you trust.
Never shake a baby. Shaking can cause blindness, seizures, brain damage, and death, and it often happens when a frustrated caregiver can’t get the crying to stop. Make sure everyone who cares for your baby knows this, including grandparents, sitters, and partners. They should also know that it’s okay to put the baby down and walk away.
If you feel like you might hurt your baby, or you just feel like you’re drowning, reach out. You can call or text 988, or call Childhelp’s national hotline at 1-800-422-4453. Telling your own doctor how hard it’s been is a good idea as well, since postpartum depression and anxiety often show up around this time.
Questions Parents Ask
Will I spoil my baby by picking them up?
No. Young babies can’t be spoiled. Comfort teaches your baby that you’re there, and it helps them settle.
Is it okay to let my baby cry it out?
Not in the newborn weeks. Young babies need quick responses for feeding, comfort, and safety. Sleep training is a separate conversation for later, so check with your pediatrician before starting.
Why does my baby cry more in the evening?
Evening fussiness is part of the normal pattern. Tiredness and stimulation from the day pile up, and many babies fall apart around dinnertime. It usually eases as they get older.
Worth knowing. Every baby is different, and your pediatrician knows yours best. For more on everyday baby care, browse our BabiesDirect section or read about your baby’s sleeping habits.