Quick Test for Dads

1Effective dads teach mostly through role modeling, and that only works if you're actually around to model anything. Are you really "there" for your child?

• Do you work 60 or more hours a week?
• Do you travel overnight more than 50 days a year?
• Do you live in a different city than your child?
• Do you spend twice as much time on your phone, TV, or a screen as you do with your child?

2Fathers tend to build secure attachment through active, physical play. Do you and your child play together, actual rough and tumble play, at least two or three times a week?

This isn't just tradition. Research on father involvement keeps finding that this kind of physical play helps kids build real self control, not just burn off energy.

3Dads who aren't around much often say they make up for it with "quality time." Which list below actually builds a stronger father child relationship?

If you guessed List B, you're right. The everyday, unglamorous stuff builds more trust than the big gestures do.

4Dads play an important role preparing kids for life outside the family, which sometimes means disagreeing with your co-parent about rules, risk, consequences, or how much independence a child is ready for. When that conflict comes up, do you automatically back down, assuming your co-parent knows best?

5Involved dads pull their kids into their own world instead of just visiting their kid's world. Do you look for chances to bring your child along, to work, on errands, or into things you personally enjoy?

6Kids without an engaged father figure are more likely to struggle with anger and aggression. When arguments happen in your home, can you keep your own anger in check, no name calling, no hitting, no cursing?

7Effective dads don't pretend to be perfect. When you've overreacted, been too harsh, or let your child down, do you actually admit it and apologize?