KidsDirect

Doulas

what is a doula

What is a Doula?

A doula is a woman experienced in childbirth who provides continuous physical, emotional, and informational support to a mother before, during, and after childbirth. She believes birth is a natural process, and she sees it as a transformational event in a woman’s life, one worth protecting and making as safe and positive as possible.

A good doula understands both the physiology of birth and the emotional needs of a woman in labor. She stays with the mother throughout labor, supports whatever birth choices the mother makes, and never pushes her own opinions onto the family she’s serving. She acts as an advocate for the mother and her partner, helps carry out their birth plan, and keeps communication flowing between the laboring woman, her partner, and the clinical team. She also helps the partner get involved at whatever level feels comfortable to him or her. A doula never replaces the partner’s role, she adds to it.

A few more ways to describe a doula

Doulas go by a few other names too, including childbirth assistants, labor support professionals, birth assistants, and birth companions. Whatever you call them, they provide emotional, physical, and informational support throughout pregnancy, labor, birth, and the early postpartum weeks.

A doula doesn’t replace the partner. Instead, she helps the partner show up fully, so he or she can love and encourage the laboring woman without feeling like they have to know everything or do everything alone. Women have leaned on other women for support during childbirth throughout human history. That’s a pretty basic human need, and it has nothing to do with how strong a woman’s relationship with her partner is.

How a doula works alongside dad

Some couples assume that if a partner plans to be fully involved in the birth, a doula isn’t necessary, as if doulas exist only for women without a partner in the room. Some dads even feel a little threatened at first, worried a doula might take over and crowd them out of their own baby’s birth.

In practice, a doula tends to make the experience better for both parents, not just the mother. During a prenatal visit, she’ll sit down with the couple to talk through the birth, and she makes a point of including the partner directly rather than routing everything through the mom. Dads get real space to voice their own concerns and questions, and the doula answers what she can while respecting how much or how little the couple wants to share.

Once labor starts, many doulas will come to the couple’s home to help them through early labor, then help pack the car and make calls when it’s time to head to the hospital. As labor picks up intensity, her role with the dad becomes even more useful. Because she’s seen labor play out many times before, she can reassure both parents when things are progressing normally, and explain what’s happening when they aren’t sure. That kind of steady, experienced presence tends to calm a father’s nerves, and a calmer dad tends to help the mother relax too, since she often takes her emotional cues from him.

The doula and dad frequently team up on hands on support, taking turns massaging the mother, helping her change positions to ease pain and keep labor moving, or walking the halls with her together. When it’s time to push, many mothers use positions that call for two people supporting her at once, and having both a partner and a doula there makes that far more manageable.

After delivery, the doula usually stays close to the mother while dad gets to soak in those first moments with the baby, make phone calls, or take a break, unless the family prefers otherwise. Most doulas also schedule a postpartum visit a day or two after birth to help with breastfeeding and newborn care, and to walk back through the birth story together, since it’s often hard to process everything in the moment.

What the research says about doula supported birth

This isn’t just a nice idea, there’s solid research behind it. A Cochrane review of continuous labor support, covering more than 15,000 women across 17 countries, found that women with continuous support were about 25 percent less likely to need a cesarean, had somewhat higher odds of an unassisted vaginal birth, used less pain medication, and reported far fewer negative feelings about their birth experience overall. Their babies were also less likely to have low Apgar scores at five minutes. It’s a strong enough pattern that the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists recommends continuous labor support as one of the most effective tools for keeping labor moving safely without unnecessary intervention.

If you’re thinking about hiring one, DONA International’s directory is a good place to find a certified doula near you, and asking your obstetrician or midwife for a referral is another solid starting point.

Related Posts

High School Senior Studying
High School
KidsDirect Editorial Team

The High School Senior Year: A Parent’s Guide

By KidsDirect Editorial Team Junior year was about carrying a heavier load. Senior year is about carrying it to the finish line, and then handing most of it over. There’s real relief in that, for you and your teen both. There’s also a strange kind of pressure that shows up right when everyone expects things to ease up. Applications, financial

Read More »
high school sophomore year
High School
KidsDirect Editorial Team

The High School Sophomore Year: A Parent’s Guide

By KidsDirect Editorial Team Freshman year is loud. Everyone talks about the new building, the older kids, the adjustment. Sophomore year is quieter, and that’s exactly what makes it sneaky. Nobody warns you about tenth grade the way they warn you about ninth. But this is often the year a teen either settles into who they’re becoming. Or they start

Read More »
The High School Junior Year: A Parent's Guide
Family
KidsDirect Editorial Team

The High School Junior Year: A Parent’s Guide

By KidsDirect Editorial Team Freshman year was about adjusting. Sophomore year was about finding a footing. Junior year is different. This is the one where several big things land in the same twelve months. Harder classes, the PSAT, a driver’s license, maybe a first job, and the start of an actual college search. None of it waits for the others

Read More »
life skills for teens before college
Family
KidsDirect Editorial Team

How to Prepare Your Teen for Life After High School

By KidsDirect Editorial Team Graduation day gets all the attention, the cap, the gown, the photos on the lawn. What actually matters happened in the four years before it. Can your teen cook a meal, manage a bank account, and figure out a career path by the time they walk out that door? That gets decided long before senior year

Read More »
teen independence
Family
KidsDirect Editorial Team

Teen Independence, When Should Parents Step Back

By KidsDirect Editorial Team Your teen forgets their project at home for the second time this month. The first instinct is to drive it over. The better instinct, the one worth listening to, is to let them handle what happens next. That gap between those two instincts is where a lot of teen independence actually gets built. Not in some

Read More »
responsible high schooler
High School
KidsDirect Editorial Team

How to Raise a Responsible Teenager, A High School Parent’s Guide

Somewhere around freshman year, most parents start asking the same question. How does a kid who forgets their own backpack turn into an adult who pays rent on time. The honest answer is that responsibility isn’t something teens wake up with one day. It gets built, piece by piece, through actual practice with actual stakes. High school hands you more

Read More »