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Another common belief amongst father
researchers is the importance of an occupation to a man. For once,
I agree with the research that is out there on this topic. One of
the most important element of physical fathering is having a job.
When boys grow up, they often look for a well, paying job so that
they can provide for their families. When a man loses his job it is
often very detrimental to him.
I have been involved in various
conversations with young men about what they want to do when they
grow up. Most of these young men will often comment that they would
like to be a doctor or a lawyer, or a CEO of some major company.
When I ask them why, they often say it is because they want to be
able to provide for their families. They will often give up jobs
that they would like doing in order to pursue a job that pays well.
For example, I know a young man who would be an excellent band
teacher, and has even considered pursuing that career. However,
when it came down to the real decision of what to major in, he
chose pre-med, because he knew that one day he would have to feed a
family.
On a more personal note, when men
lose their jobs it becomes very difficult for them to really know
who they are. This Last May I found out that I was going to lose my
job. I had plenty of notice to find a new job, but unfortunately, I
have not been able to find anything that really taps into the
skills that I have been educated in or that I would enjoy.
If you ask my wife how this has
effected me should would probably say tremendously. I have gone
through a lot of transitions these past couple of months. Including
contemplating starting a business on the Internet to going through
a major career change. It has been very difficult for me to accept
the loss of employment, because I want to provide for my family.
Fortunately, I have Student Loans to live off of, and a still have
some good prospects for some jobs. I haven't attempted any of these
major changes in life, but I haven't completely eliminated those
options either.
Having a job is not the only element
of being a good father, but I honestly feel that it is an important
element. I also do not feel that a job cannot be important to a
women. I just know that when I lost my job, I was devastated,
because I couldn't be the provider for my own family, instead, I
had to rely on someone else to take over a very important role for
me.
Physical fathering entails many
different elements, and they all are important, but one of the most
important elements for a father is having a job, because without
this job one cannot provide many of the necessary physical things
that a child needs.
Source: Four Fold Fathering
Travis R Grant |
ParentsDirect
